There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.Jessica Hatchigan
You can tell your friend that drunk-driving is responsible for 38% of all traffic accidents and that drunk-driving is dangerous. Will he learn the lesson/the message you want him to learn? He probably learns the number but not necessarily the lesson. Probably NOT until he had an accident himself and is surprised by it. That’s why Daniel Kahneman wrote in Thinking, Fast and Slow:
If you asked me, Are you happy these days? My answer would be slow and it may be different today from tomorrow, or here from there. If you asked me, 1- how’s your child doing? and then 2- are you happy these days? I’d think fast and and say, I am happy.
I was given a reason to think happy, so my answer came simultaneously: a yes-yes.
“I think, therefore I am” suggests we are what/who we think we are. If you think you’re poor, then you’re poor is a classic example. A scientific explanation of this is the ideomotor effect coined by psychologist John Bargh, a psychological phenominon wherein:
(1) thoughts prime behavior (as in, thinking I’m old will prime walking slowly)
(2) behavior primes thoughts (as in, walking slowly will prime thinking I’m old).
Point (2) above then suggests “I am, therefore I think”. So the advice is, Always control our thoughts. if we can’t control our thoughts, try to control our behavior.
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.Plato
So many people and things deserve judgment. The greedy who feed off the poor. The war and warlords that killed several thousands of lives in Cambodia. Men who beat their wives and children. Parents who make their children wander the streets begging or selling stuff, instead of enjoying their time at school. Hit-and-run’s that kill lives. They deserve judgment.
But judgment is not about blaming and destroying. It’s about setting things right.
You might get asked which of your children you love the most. Immediately you may say, my first, second or third child. That might be true. Or false. You probably just love them DIFFERENTLY.
To be right it’s probably not enough we need to do the right thing at the right time at the right place. We should also so it right and often with the right support from the right people, resources and capitals.
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